Even with chestnuts roasting on an open fire and Jack Frost nipping at your nose, Five Counties Children’s Centre says stress and upheaval can make the holidays far from happy for some families.
They’re offering a simple phrase to kids and parents: celebrating the season can still be merry and bright when it’s managed right.
“Parents and caregivers often feel guilty and pressured to have the picture-perfect holiday that they see on social media or in the movies, but that isn’t always the reality,” says Nicole Captain, an occupational therapist with Five Counties. “The fact is we can still enjoy happy holidays if we keep things simple, stick to structure, go back to basics, and are flexible.”
Caregiver burnout and stress associated with parenting is real, according to the U.S. Office of the Surgeon General. It released a ‘Parents Under Pressure advisory report’ last summer that looked at the mental health and well-being of parents. In the report, two-fifths of U.S. parents indicated feeling “so stressed they cannot function.” Roughly half of parents called their stress “completely overwhelming.”
While numbers aren’t readily available in Canada, Captain says similar pressures on parents and caregivers aren’t limited by borders, and stress can be magnified over the holidays.
Captain, who works in school-based rehabilitation services at Five Counties, provides occupational therapy support to students and often discusses self-regulation with classes. It’s these tips that she feels families can benefit from during the holiday season.
“I always tell parents to put on your oxygen mask first to meet your own regulation needs and support your nervous system, so that you can support your child’s needs,” Captain said.
To help make the holidays more manageable, Five Counties offers the following tips:
Practice makes progress
• The holidays come with excitement, anticipation, and altered routines. Captain suggests caregivers help children cope with change by helping them prepare for what’s ahead.
• A visual schedule (or calendar) is ideal to help a child see what is being planned. It can set out what’s going on a certain day or week before, or during, the holidays – helping children understand what to expect. Including breaks or downtime in the schedule can benefit the entire family to self-regulate and recharge.
• If travelling to see family or friends for the holidays, photos or maps can be useful tools to help prepare kids for where and with whom they may visit.
• Discussing holiday plans as a family can also help manage change and expectations. It can also be a chance to build buy-in by selecting activities that everyone would like to do together.
Back to basics
It’s important to control the variables that you can. This means:
• Getting enough rest and sticking to sleep schedules, and even selecting a quiet space where family members can rejuvenate.
• Eating well and staying well-hydrated.
“It’s really going back to the basics,” Captain says. “We’re optimizing our bodies on the inside to cope with all the stress and changes that go on outside and around us.”
Unplug
While technology is part of everyday life, too much time in front of a screen can impact a child’s sleep, behaviour, routine and anxiety levels. According to Captain, part of what makes a happy holiday is unplugging from devices and making meaningful connections as a family. That means spending time together as a family and, as parents and caregivers, being fully involved, present and engaged with kids.
“While being together doesn’t require a lot of preparation, make it quality time to really forge that connection,” Captain adds.
If spending time in front of a screen, do so as a family, but be mindful to avoid devices too close to bedtime, as it can overstimulate a child and affect their sleep.
Tap the power of play
While the holidays can be hectic, they do provide an opportunity to have fun outdoors by being active together. For Captain, the power of play is one of the best ways to refresh and make the season more festive and fun. “I know going outdoors in the winter months in Canada isn’t something we all like to do, but the importance of sunlight, fresh air, and activity are important for everyone to feel their best,” she notes.
• Families can be purposeful and organized in choosing outdoor activities to do together. “There’s time to run around in the snow, but planning a scavenger hunt, designing a snow fort, building a snowman, or trying to see how many animals you can spot in 10 minutes can maximize that outdoor experience,” she says.
• If the weather outside is frightful, the power of play can also be applied indoors – whether creating an obstacle course, doing a puzzle, or trying out a fun, interactive activity like Cosmic Kids Yoga.
As the holidays approach, Captain says how families approach the festive season can make it magical and memorable for all the right reasons. “Pick what works for your family,” she says, “and do what you can – and happy holidays can be within our reach.”
For more resources, visit the Five Counties website at: fivecounties.on.ca/happy-holidaytips/.
