The Outsider: Winter weather blues
|By Will Jones - The Outsider | February 9, 2017|
Last week, I thought my lovely wife might be going out of her mind. And, it had nothing to do with me. Honest.
Well, it may have had a little to do with me but I am positive that you’ll side with me if she ever decides to make her grievance official.
You see, I booked a vacation for all of us, my lovely wife, Little Z and me before you go assuming that I’m leaving the two of them behind in Haliburton while I jet off to the sun. Oh, no, I’m the sane one and skipping out on my lovely wife would bestow on me a fate worse than death if ever I dared return. Or so I thought until last week. And I say this because my lovely wife is grumpy, even a little annoyed, because I booked a week’s holiday for us all on the sun-drenched island of Aruba.
Yes, she got that bottom lip stuck right out because we were going away. Can you believe it? She’s mad, I say, mad as a toque-wearing hatter.
Her reasoning, and she almost always has good reasoning (never argue with my lovely wife, you won’t win), is that it was snowing and it was going to snow for most of the next week. That’s this week, as in now, to you guys. So, if it is snowing lots please don’t tell her when we get back on Sunday.
I have to admit that I didn’t really understand her ‘logic’ but when she stated: “I can’t believe we have to go away just when it’s really snowing a lot here,” being the ever-unwitting husband, replied: “Oh yes, snowing, of course, dear.”
Now, I thought I’d responded perfectly, especially considering that I had obviously completely missed her point and also found it quite incredulous that she could moan about going away on holiday to the Caribbean in the middle of a Canadian winter.
Her scowl, however, told me that my answer had been less than satisfactory; probably due to my furrowed brow and rolling of the eyes.
“Can’t you see, it’s perfect weather for skiing!” she snapped. ‘Can’t you see it’s perfect weather for lying on a beach,’ I thought, or maybe mumbled. Either way, she read my mind, lips or some other part of my body that seemed to be disagreeing with her and I was slung headfirst into the dog house.
As I looked out, from the kennel, the weather didn’t seem to be helping either. Big fat white flakes of snow began to fall and soon the backyard was carpeted in fluffy white. Then Little Z added to my misery by whooping it up on his toboggan and asking if he could go to the ski hill on the weekend.
“We can’t,” said my lovely wife, rather tersely. “Daddy is making us go on holiday.”
That was last Friday. Thankfully, a few days in the sunshine, one or two mohitos and some serious grovelling on my part has turned around my lovely wife’s mood. She’s relaxed, tanned and happy now. But, we return on Sunday and I expect you all to keep quiet about the snow, even if it’s piled up to the window
If you see my lovely wife, just smile, nod, and for Pete’s sake, don’t mention the holiday!
WILL JONES - is The Outsider