The Outsider: Have you gone hunting yet?
|By Will Jones - The Outsider | Nov. 15, 2018|
Do you know how many shopping days there are until Christmas? If you do, then you’re obviously organized and have probably worked your way well down that list of presents to buy, already. If you don’t, then let me scare you.
There are 40 shopping days until Christmas, and that’s if you’re reading this missive on the day of its publication, not the middle of next week. Just 40, and that’s counting all the ones when you’re at work. Now, if your Christmas shopping is reserved for weekends then you’ve got a grand total of 12 days before your loved ones are disappointed. And you still haven’t bagged that deer, finished chopping wood or put the snow tires on the car. Holy moly you’re gonna be busy. Or should I say we’re gonna be busy.
You see, I struggle with Christmas, just like I struggle with lots of things including math and picking up nails while wearing three pairs of gloves because it is freezing cold and I’m having to build a rich person’s cottage on a vertiginous lot on the backside of Percy Lake in a snow storm ... but I digress.
I struggle with getting into the Christmas spirit before December rolls around.
Somehow it’s summer, then ‘boom’ Thanksgiving, Halloween and Guy Fawkes Night (it’s a British thing) hit us in quick succession. Hunting season adds to the melee and I’m so caught up in it all that the last thing I am thinking about is when Santa is coming and hunting for the perfect Christmas gift. And I’m sure that many of you guys are the same.
Now, I say guys and I mean guys, not so much gals because in my experience, my middle aged, old fashioned opinion, it seems that the fairer sex is much better at getting ready for Christmas than the chaps. There are exceptions on both sides I’m sure but they are only there to chip away at my stereotypical outlook on life.
I know I’m right because my lovely wife proves it to me every year. She ruins my jolly little last-minute idea of, “I know, let’s say we can only buy gifts locally,” every year, when I suggest it as I panic what to buy her on the weekend before Christmas.
“I got you what you said you wanted in November,” she’ll reply, “and I’ve given you all kinds of ideas for my gift over the last couple of months.”
Huh, she did?
“So, I hope you’ve been listening.”
Huh, I was meant to be listening, too?
And, let’s not get into her mom’s Christmas gift organizational addiction, which is obviously where my wife gets it from. She has been sending packages from Blighty since August. Large brown cardboard boxes, taped to within inches of their lives and marked ‘DO NOT OPEN UNTIL CHRISTMAS’. Little Z is not fooled and I’ve had to relieve him of his pocket knife twice already as he tries to sneak into my office where the boxes are stacked.
And, so I guess these boxes, if nothing else, even if I manage to ignore the constant Christmas ads on TV and my wife, should be my prompt to start getting ready for Christmas a little earlier this year. After all, as I mentioned, just 12 weekend days of the gift hunting season till the big jolly fellow arrives. I do still have to bag that deer though, and put on the snow tires, and service the snow blower, and and and ... Happy hunting guys. That’s gift hunting, tis the season, you know.
WILL JONES - is The Outsider