The Outsider: A bolt from the blue
|By Will Jones - The Outsider | August 24, 2017|
I came to a stunning realization the other day, a mind-blowing revelation; one that not many of you will believe, most of you will snicker at, but some of you will secretly know is the truth.
I'm going to tell you what it is, not without fear of scorn, but sturdy in the knowledge that such deep, philosophical idealisms need to be shared, even at the persecution of the originator, if our world is ever to become a better place.
But, first, let me set the scene.
It was a beautiful early morning; the sun not quite risen, the mist dancing slowly across the surface of the lake. A loon called and overhead, the soft whistle of a duck's wings could be heard as it flew by. The only sounds were nature, the only smells natural. Everything was perfect.
Except for one thing.
For some unknown reason, I had woken in a bad mood. From the moment I opened my eyes, I felt grumpy, so grumpy in fact that I even debated not going fishing on this glorious morning but that would have been plain ridiculous and so off I went to a nearby spot and launched my canoe.
The surface of the water was like glass as I cut through it with my paddle. I should have been reveling in the beauty of the scene that surrounded me, while mentally sorting through my tackle box for the perfect lure. I wasn't though. I was paddling amidst a cloud of gloom, all of my own making and for the life of me I couldn't glide out from under it.
Eventually, I stopped paddling, absentmindedly threw on a lure and started to fish. Almost immediately I got hung up on a sunken log. I jerked my rod too hard and the line broke.
I retied and cast again. Nothing. No bites, no nibbles or knocks, no sign of fish at all. And that's how it went, on a lake that I fish regularly and which almost always obliges with a fish or two. I paddled and fished, fished and paddled, my mood ever worsening.
And that's when I had my startling moment of clarity that I have to share.
Fish can read minds.
Yep, that's right, those scaly, slippery little suckers have got some serious telepathic powers and they could sense the gloom that I had spread around me.
Now, I can sense some doubt in your minds. Well, I can't, I'm not a fish! But I am guessing that you're shaking your head at the moment and so let me expand upon my theory.
Water is a conductor, right. So is the carbon fibre of a fishing rod. Link the two of them with mono-filament line and cast a lure into the depths and the negativity from my body is being channeled directly down that line into the realm of the fish. Now, add to this the sensory organ that fish have called a lateral line and bingo, those darn fish were honing in on my bad mood and steering well clear of my bait.
I fished for two hours. I caught nothing. As I paddled back to shore, a small boy stood fishing happily on the dock. He waved at me and smiled as I clambered out of my boat. I ignored him and stalked off.
Just as I got into my truck ,I heard a joyful shout: “Wahoo! mum, dad, come quick I've got a big one.”
WILL JONES - is The Outsider