The Outsider: I just made you say under where?
|By Will Jones - The Outsider | February 1, 2018|
Now, this is one of those questions, a debate even, that I’m thinking will split the county. You know, like whether we should have a public swimming pool built, or are Cody Hodgson’s eyes really as bugged out as those depicted in his portrait on Haliburton’s arena wall?
And, more importantly, it is a topic that has split my lovely wife and I, something that nearly never happens, so she instructs me to inform you. So buckle up, get ready to question, argue and upset your nearest and dearest as your battle it out for the right to be, well, right (and on my side)!
My question, or rather my statement is, I believe that, after a hard day’s work out-of-doors in the cold, a fella should be allowed to come home, peel off his outer layers and wander freely throughout his home in his long underwear with no fear of harassment from his lovely wife, nor worry of upsetting any unsuspecting visitor.
Make of that what you will. However, I believe this to be a perfectly reasonable assumption. After all, it is to own the house in which he is now flaunting his underwear that the fella is working outside in the frigid Canadian winter. And, I mean, doesn’t his hard-earned wage pay for the warmth and light that he enjoys of an evening, in his red waffle onesie or matching grey T-shirt and leggings combo?
And, surely, the privacy of this house offers some sort of buffer against the culturally enforced evils of what polite society would call the done thing, the ‘acceptable,’ the way one should present one’s self ...
Now, I’m sure that half of you are agreeing heartily with me, and that’s a good thing, but for those of you who
are still wrong, oops sorry, opposing my argument, I should stress that this fella’s long underwear is neither threadbare, nor otherwise worn. I’m not some raggedy assed, holey kneed vagabond, no way!
And, just in case there are ugly images floating around in your head, I should add that there are no buttonless flaps, nor bulging bits of body that opt for more out than in my thermal attire. I guess what I’m saying is that I don’t look half bad in my long johns and vest, and there is little more than an ankle exposed – kind of like one of those mustacheod Victorian gentlemen in his bathing suit – but my lovely wife is still aghast at my parading around our home “only half dressed.”
Heaven knows why. I don’t get it and I’m hoping that some of you don’t either. While winter lasts and this Canadian phenomenon of dressing in ever-increasing layers of clothing persists, I’m going to stand my ground. And, if you don’t already do it, then join me, in annoying my wife, no your wife, no, I kid, never do that, but feel free to wander around your home for an evening in your long johns without fear of a row, and in the knowledge that if I come to visit I shall not be offended in the least.
WILL JONES - is The Outsider