The Outsider: Just get on and do your thing
|By Will Jones - The Outsider | July 13, 2017|
What’s the weather like while you’re reading this article? Raining, is it? Again! Just where is that long hot spell that we all expect in summer? You know, the one that burns the grass to a brown fuzz, turning it from lush lawn into a joy to behold for all of us who hate mowing. But no, it is or it has been raining again, just like it always does back in Blighty and the grass is growing so fast that the rabbits are having to use scythes to get to my veggie garden.
But then again, I should be used to it, right, because it’s just like back home, where it rains almost constantly, and the skies are always grey, and the grass is never brown, and no one is happy apart from the ducks. Or that’s what you guys seem to think, eh? I know it is because of how many times I have heard (or rather been subjected to) that smirked lament about English weather: “Raining again, eh, must not bother you though, coming from England...”
I usually just grin and agree politely, whilst imagining what my tormentor would look like doused in maple syrup and thrown to a rabid pack of sweet-toothed raccoons. Come on folks! You can do better than that.
If I had emigrated from the rain forests of Ecuador, the monsoon regions of India or Vancouver Island, maybe but England, really? I’ll bet you five bucks that the weather where I’m from is nicer than it is here at the moment. In fact, I’m almost certain it is because the online weather report for the week ahead in Burton-on-Trent, the town of my birth, features a row of seven bright yellow suns, and that’s about five more beaming yellow icons than the forecasters are calling for in Haliburton over the next few days. Haha!
I could gloat but I won’t because I’m here with you soggy lot while my family is basking in the summery glory that blankets Blighty at the moment. Meanwhile, we dodge lightning strikes and take cover as the hail rains down from the July skies, all the while counting down the days until the first snowfall.
And that’s the problem. We, all of us, both Canucks and Pommies, are way too preoccupied with the weather. How about we forget about it and carry on regardless. Have you ever swam in a lake in a summer rain storm? It’s magical. How about sat on the porch and watched a thunderstorm? Breathtaking. Ran naked through a hail
shower? That going a bit far, maybe? But you get my drift.
Who cares what the weather brings, just get on and do your thing because unlike England, the Canadian seasons are quite marked and the weather range rather radical. So stop pontificating about the forecast and get on and swim in that lake because it’ll be fall soon.
And don’t leave the naked running too late because those lower temperatures do nothing for a fellow’s pride if he’s spotted while out for a nude jog in December! Unless you live in England, then it’s still warm, and raining.
WILL JONES - is The Outsider