The Outsider: The best cheap date ever
|By Will Jones - The Outsider | March 30, 2017|
My lovely wife is a wonderful person for many reasons, some of which I could shout from the rooftops others that I’d prefer to keep secret but in one respect she is most definitely the best. My wife is one of the most selfless people I have ever met.
Over the last few years she has been given Christmas bonuses from work and birthday money by her parents back in Blighty. Each time, this cash has been deposited in the bank or in a little safe spot in the house, to be saved and spent on a shopping trip in the big city. However, things always seem to come up. Little Z has summer camps to be paid for. Jeff the dog needs his nails clipped (he’s very sensitive about his looks). I need to borrow a few bucks to pay off a gambling debt (only kidding), and, the money that my lovely wife has saved is slowly spent again and again.
She’s OK though, “oh, it doesn’t matter.”
Then there’s my promises of a trip to the aforementioned big city to buy a birthday gift that I couldn’t find in little old Haliboo. The same goes when that slides by without materializing, “oh, it doesn’t matter.”
But that is not good enough. My lovely wife deserves better and, finally, I stepped up to the plate this weekend and bundled her and Little Z into the car. Off we went to Toronto. I realized that I had to do the right thing.
“We’re going to the city and you’re gonna buy whatever you want, money no object!” I said.
Some of you fellows are cringing already, I know, but, while I had every intention of making good on this promise, if I were a betting man, and we’ve already established that I am not, I’d put money on the fact that my lovely wife would struggle to spend spend spend.
I had so much faith in this prophesy that I even researched the perfect little fashion boutiques for my lovely wife to visit.
I have to admit that early in the trip I did wonder. Armed with my recommendations, second store in a cool little shop on Queen Street she was keen and I managed to sabotage myself by picking up a blouse that she liked. It fit perfectly.
“Yes! Let’s buy it.”
Boom! Three hundred dollars spent.
I squeaked a bit inside but grinned and stayed calm as I tapped in my pin number. It’s only noon, I thought. This could cost me big, real big.
On to the next store we went. I was more cautious with helping out this time. But, my (none) bet came to fruition. That initial burst of high fashion spending was to be the last that we saw that afternoon. However, by five o’clock, with a couple of glasses of expensive city wine inside her, she was happy and I was relieved.
And that was basically it. If my wife were to have totalled up the past Christmas bonuses, the cash birthday presents and promised spending sprees we’d be into the multiple thousands and shopping for a month but she didn’t, she doesn’t, because she’s the best wife ever. And that’s a good job because I’m kind of cheap!
WILL JONES - is The Outsider